What is “lingam”, anyway?

Lingam is the Sanskrit word for the male genitalia, aka penis. “Linga” literally means “the sign” or “symbol”, representing the god Shiva. Shiva is nothing less than the pure embodiment of archetypal male energy – the power of creation and (re)generation. In many temples that revere Shiva, you will find the shiva linga displayed in the form of statues (sometimes as tall as 2 meters or more!), decorated with flowers and incense. The ceremonial honouring of the shiva linga often includes pouring milk or oils over it to symbolise the infinite flow of creative power that is the inherent essence of this deity. Yes, totally like a giant ejaculation!

Lingam is so much more than just the cock. It is often translated as “wand of light”. Whether you are the owner of a cock or not, know this – the lingam is the embodiment of the light of god, the active – conceptive masculine life force energy, capable of creating life and seeding multiple energetic realities. THIS is the essence we honour when we give lingam massage. It is so much more than a fancy handjob!

Deeper intimacy and better sex with lingam massage 


Whether you are giving a lingam massage to yourself ort to your partner, know that this is NOT about a happy ending. Though you will be happy for sure, lingam massage can be used as a tool to move away from your habitual jerk-off patterns, into sacred masturbation.

And while there is nothing wrong with a recreational release after work or quicky in the shower, once you’ve tasted the real deal, you will most likely not want to go back to your old ways. I know your old cotton pajamas are comfy, but would you want to wear them if you can choose silk? 

The reason why you would embark on such a journey is to become a better human being, one that feels deeper, is more aware, welcomes expansion, has a deeper capacity to love both self and others and understands that sexuality is a divine gift. Moving from handjobs to cock worship will shift your inner self-connection. It will open new spaces of self-love and self-acceptance (especially if you’ve had love issues with your cock in the past), awaken you energetically and if you receive this gift from your partner, it will for sure deepen your intimate relationship on many new levels.  

The lingam is the way to the heart of a man, just as the heart if the way to a woman’s yoni. The cock is the positive energetic centre of a man’s body, which means that its energy is outgoing (penetrative) and by loving the cock (yours or someone else’s) you can open the energetic channels to their heart. Whereas in a woman’s body it’s the heart that has the outgoing penetrative energy. (Which is why you should never approach a woman’s pussy until her heart is open to it. 

What is lingam massage about?

In very basic terms we could say that lingam massage is a collection of massage strokes and techniques for the male sexual organ, designed to awaken more pleasure and subtle sexual energies. We give it to ourselves or to our partners because we want to give them an ecstatic experience. 

This way of giving can reveal so many wonderfully subtle, orgasmic and ecstatic layers! For one, there is the penis, obviously. There are multiple ways to touch the cock for pleasure, and we will talk about them later, but for sure we do not have to stop there. A tantric lingam massage will include the cock, the testicles, the whole perineal area, and often the lower belly, thighs and even the muscles around the anus. And if you truly want to take it to the next level, you can offer your partner an internal prostate massage which is just pure bliss. 

What really matters most is the intention – of course, to give pleasure, but also, to honour and adore the cock for the wand of light that it truly is. This is a soul journey between lovers! A ceremony of adorationwhere as the Giver, can take in the divine light of creation while you are worshipping you partner’s cock. And as the Receiver, you can melt into the safety and bliss of total receptivity, where you do not have to do anything, you donate have to show up, to perform, to reciprocate, you can let go of all your shame and guilt, worries and fears and receive yourself as who you truly are – an embodiment of god’s creative life-force energy, which is concentrated in your holy pole of light – the lingam. 

This is not about chasing a goal and cumming as fast as you can. It is about sensingfeeling, opening to the waves of ecstatic energy and to the possibility that orgasm without ejaculation is a possibility, and that you can move energy in your body to become multi-orgasmic as a man, yes, multiple orgasms are not and never have been, copyrighted by people with vaginas and clitorises, you can have them too, just be available, breathe, and receive.

Benefits of giving a lingam massage

This is a therapy that comes with immense benefits for the receiver; the man will benefit from this massage in three different ways physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

Deeper intimacy, connection and love with Partner

Imagine giving to yourself without limits without expectations without pre-conceived ideas about how it should could or would be, just for the pure pleasure of it! Open your heart through a sacred practice of holy masturbation. And when you are blessed enough to receive this from your partner, you will for sure fall in love again. 


Because you will not have to worry about giving back or reaching a goal, you will be able to step into your feminine and just receive, which will offer you a new insight into what deep relaxation is really about. You will learn how to be fully relaxed and turned on at the same time. Deep relaxation is the gateway to more and more pleasure

Releasing tension and energetic blockages from your body

It is not easy to be the owner of a cock in this world. There is so much sex-negative conditioning, expectation, shaming and performance anxiety going around, that even if you are a healthy and happy individual, there will be unconscious energetical disruptions in your system. Lingam massage is a wonderful way to clear those energies and open the pathways for a better flow.

Increased Sensitivity and pleasure

By learning to relax deeper when turned on and horny, you will experience greater sensitivity in the whole of your sexual area. You become tuned to your own subtle sexual and sensual energies as they run from your cock through the whole of your body in blissful waves. 

Healing sexual dysfunction or trauma

Whether it is premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, insecurity or some deep-seated trauma, lingam massage can help to address the root cause of different sexual-emotional issues. If you are facing challenges like such, and especially if you have suffered sexual trauma or abuse in your life, you might want to consider booking time with a professional tantra therapist or sacred sexual bodyworker. There are tons of fantastic people out there with deep wisdom and integrity who can help you. Reach out. Do not suffer in silence.

Becoming more orgasmic 

As we have discussed before, lingam massage can be a gateway to your multi-orgasmic potential. This might take some time to fully open into, but hey, you will have no reason to complain about the journey!

Preparing for a Lingam massage 

Step 1. Plan!

Whether you are gifting yourself with this experience, or your partner, be sure to plan ahead. Choose a time when you will not be disturbed for at least 3-4 hours. Make sure that you have everything you need.  
Create a beautiful space, make the bed comfortable, with pillows, blankets. Prepare with towels and tissues. Light some candles, put on me soft music, warm some body-friendly oil. Make it special. 

Step 2. Get your minds ready! 

Whether you are gifting yourself with this experience, or your partner, be sure to plan ahead. Choose a time when you will not be disturbed for at least 3-4 hours. Make sure that you have everything you need.  
Create a beautiful space, make the bed comfortable, with pillows, blankets. Prepare with towels and tissues. Light some candles, put on me soft music, warm some body-friendly oil. Make it special. 

Step 3. Get the body ready 

Ask your partner to lie on their belly first and start with massaging their body. Synchronise your breath with theirs.   
When you feel ready, you can ask them to turn over. Rest one hand one their heart and one hand on your own heart. Make sure you get them fully relaxed before moving to the lingam massage, by massaging their chest, belly and legs first.  
When you are ready to move to the lingam, make sure you let them know. Ask for permission. Start with cupping the lingam with the palms of your hands, just sending love and acceptance. Nothing to do, nowhere to be. Relax and center together. 


Dear Receiver, just lay back and let go. Keep breathing into your belly. Speak to your Giver about any expectations, fears or desires you might have. Be honest. Allow yourself to be heard and seen in  what’s true for you. This experience is a gift, where you don’t have to perform, you don’t have to be any certain way or chase a specific outcome. No need to reciprocate or take charge. This is YOUR time to relax and receive. To sink into the beauty of physical sensation, to ride the waves of pleasure. If you get a total hard-on, great! If you lose it, also great! This is about expansion, not performance.  
So how about orgasms?

To be perfectly clear, lingam massage has nothing to do with ejaculation. In most authentic tantric lingam massages, the receiver will not ejaculate. Sacred Tantric touch is about cultivating sexual energy, re-wiring the pathways of pleasure and expanding your boundaries. As you dive deeper into tantra (if you so desire) you will learn about seed retention (non-ejaculation), and edging – the practice of dancing on the edge of orgasm without falling over. This requires sensitivity, intention and awareness, and if you want to explore such avenues, it is best to work with a professional (a Tantrika). Tantrics believe that withholding your seed will allow you to keep all your sexual life-force energy, which you can use to attain divine unity experiences, as Tantra essentially is a path of awakening into our divine nature through sexuality. Practicing continence in this way will allow you to be able to make love for hours, control your ejaculation, and have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms. (Which can also happen in your very first lingam massage, so go for it!)
And while the Tantric path might be appealing to you, even if you choose to practice cultivating sexual energy, abstaining from ejaculation go on to and learn how to run energy in your body, (and have internal orgams!!!) there is nothing wrong with a beautifully strong, soul-centered fountain orgasm every once in w while! Stay curious as to how your experience can be different from what it usually is in lovemaking or self-pleasure. A lingam massage will support you in connecting your heart to your cock, which is the key to higher-level orgasms, whether you ejaculate or not.  


Here it is important to point out the following core truth: a lingam massage will NOT be like when you masturbate to porn (if you ever do that). The whole idea is to move away from the habitual, strong and fast up and down friction grip, which will make you cum in no time. So just breathe, relax, and stay with what is actually happening instead of going into the future or the past. 
There are infinite ways to lovingly touch a cock. We will only mention a few here so you can get a basic idea. It is really up to you, your intuition and connection. Do communicate with your partner as to how all this feels to him, to make sure you have the right pressure, and they are breathing and connected to their body.

  • Cupping: This is always how you should start the massage. Holding your hands over the lingam, just gently resting and breathing together, so your receiver can get used to your touch. Take a moment to adore, send love, to worship and honour the cock, without wanting anything from it! Just doing this for a while might start a deep healing process, so stay there as long as you feel it’s necessary 
    You can alternate this with holding one hand over the heart and one hand over the lingam, while you imagine an energetic current running between your hands. You can ask the receiver to do the same. 
  • You can start waking up the lingam with soft pressure point massage, where you travel along the shaft from root to tip, using your thumbs in gentle circular movements on different spots. This is wonderfully relaxing and will improve blood circulation.  
  • The easiest stroke is the one that imitates a milking movement, only you will move from tip to root, and not the other way round, using a semi-strong grip, alternating your hands. This way, you are guiding the energy towards the root, from where you can then spread it in the body. Massage with long strokes up the belly and to the heart.  
  • Double Screwdriver will earn you some gold starts for sure! You will use both hands, holding them close together, wrapped around the lingam and turning in opposite directions. Make sure you have plenty of oil and a lose grip!
  • Fingers crossed prayer position: fold your hands together like you would in prayer, with the thumbs free. Take the lingam in between your palms while your crossed fingers provide a nice support. Move your hands gently up and down along the shaft.
  • And of course, do not forget the frenulum. This is the elastic band of tissue connecting the shaft to the tip of the penis, or foreskin is it’s still there. This part is extremely sensitive and needs to be handled with care. You can massage it real slowly, with the circular movements of your thumb and/or index finger.  

What else you might need to know 

You will of course not have to stop at the penis! Massaging the whole groin is a wonderfully relaxing and stimulating experience. Include the testicles and the perineum area! Somewhere, halfway between the root of the cock and the anus you will find the spot behind which rests the prostate.  
You can massage the prostate externally or internally. Again, if this is your first experience, it is advised that you seek out a professional. Working internally with a man’s body is just as deep and healing an experience as it is for a woman to receive internal work in the yoni. 
But you can always stimulate and massage the prostate from the outside by finding that sweet spot between the root and the anus. By pressing one finger gently into the body and creating a circular movement. 

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